paypercut

pragmatic
minimalist
Buddhist
introvert
lesbian
vegan

Press On

When the day drags on
Her grey eyes surface, smiling
I fold, and press on

    I’ve worn sky-high shoes much of my life- I think I had a different pair of pumps for every day of the week in high school. When I was 18, I got a job at Nordstrom where I stood on hard marble. At first, it was fine. But by the time I was 21, I would hobble out to my car, so still that a pedicure couldn’t undo what pumps were doing to me. I did ballet my whole life, and had some serious foot and ankle muscles, and I even changed halfway through the day into a more “comfort oriented” shoe. However, the pain persisted, and I started realizing how fucked up my feet were.

     I’m going to move towards wearing anatomically correct shoes, toe socks/toe tights, and wearing “correct toes” to undo what years of ballet did to my feet. Here are some companies that make shoes that will allow your toes to do what they should:

-Birkenstock

https://www.birkenstockusa.com/

-Lem’s Shoes

http://www.lemsshoes.com/

-Altra Running

http://www.altrarunning.com/

For endless toe-sock and other toe-hosiery:

www.sockdreams.com

For someone who loves sandals, but doesn’t love Birks:

http://www.runbranca.com/

I follow Soto Zen Buddhism. If you would like to know more, the 84 year old Buddhist Priest has some very interesting things to say about the correlation between meditation and maintenance of the nervous system. 

My favorite food is mapo tofu.
My favorite color is pink.
My favorite flower is jasmine.
My favorite animal is a whale shark.
My favorite car is a ‘67 BMW 2002

But those things all fade.

Night Terrorist

Surf those oily folds of hot-box sleep

Love numbed and outnumbered

That blonde noise was reduced to an Ashen whisper

murmured on chapped lips

drowned in that same dark well

that empathy is drank from

Last Drop

Coke bottle glasses

Destroyed by x-ray vision

When will trust empty?

Art Work

My strength has no worth

An artist in Sciencetown

Why am I less than?

Boiling Point

Bulbous armpit zit
Go the fuck away
Wince and squeeze and wince and squeeze

Welp.

Tomorrow marks my return to college to learn a trade- I’m going to community college on a grant in order to become an L.P.N. I know I need a solid job that I can do anywhere, that has a good outlook, very good pay and excellent benefits. Most importantly, is that I can pay my exorbitant student loan payments.I am not giving up on art. The entire process of becoming an L.P.N. Is to allow me to work in theatre. My goal is to work in a clinical setting or an H.M.O., specializing in women’s health or holistic health. Working in one of these environments will leave 5:00 p.m. and on available to craft backstage magic. I have no illusions about what nursing is or is not- I come from a family of them. I have a solid network, and I’m clawing my way to Portland out from the cold, hard place that Seattle has so often been. I could not afford to go to grad school. I would if I could, but I got the grant to get my L.P.N.
I do not regret going to Cornish. I don’t think I could have done things in any other order. Hopefully, two years from now I’ll be helping educate women about their health, assisting in gender reassignment procedures or looking to what is natural to help others heal, making $40,000+ and be grinding away at night to become a better artist. I’ve also been looking at Peace Corps opportunities. I really want to go back to China, and as a nurse would certainly grant me memorable experiences.
In the mean time, Katie is going to grad school a short distance away, and I am fighting the good fight to get fit and stay fit. I want to be financially secure and healthy for myself predominantly, but also for my partner in all things.
Welp… Here we go, I guess.

Pickled: A Brine Baptism

I

I pickled myself 

deep in a water barrel

drowning in the dark

II

I gasped, on pavement

water pruned and bruised purple

Lay here. Sun ripen.

III

I dried the salt up

it reaches into no cuts

a velvet release

From Red Azalea by Anchee Min.

From Red Azalea by Anchee Min.